Monday, October 4, 2010

Days 1-4

Day 1 - a song that reminds you of your child, or one that you can't listen to anymore and why.

After Yuna died I went through so many different phases. I hated all the music I used to love. My music tastes change depending on my mood. I've found music my saviour. It soothes me, it heals me. I just drown out the world with music. There are so many different songs that remind me of Yuna. Here's a few from the playlist of Grief.

Warm Whispers-Missy Higgins
Peaches and Cream- John Butler Trio (we played this at her memorial day for B) we recently heard this played live and there we were in a crowd of happy dancing concert goers just overflowing with tears!
Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness- Smashing Pumpkins (The pumpkins get me out of the blackness)
All for Believing-Missy Higgins
Beautiful- Lifehouse
Your Angel- Ophelia of the Spirits
Now Comest The Night- Rob Thomas
Into my Arms- Nick Cave
The Scientist- Cold Play
Like Rain- Ophelia of the Spirits

Day 2 - a movie that helped you get through the hard times, or one that jumps out at you after your loss.

Before Yuna I wasn't really a big movie watcher. I used to fall asleep before the end of most movies and we rarely went to the movies. I did have a big passion for really lame horror movies. I can't watch horror movies now. I've seen enough horror in my own life.
Now however I have spent many a night up late watching absolute garbage movies. Ridiculously NOT funny movies that make you laugh anyway. They're so bad I can't remember any of their names!
I guess laughing at silly movies got us through the tough times. Anything that wouldn't have the potential to make me cry out of sadness. Lots of Seth Rogen, and sbs late night movies.

Day 3 - a television program that helped you either get through hard times or that moves you.

I really got into TV watching after Yuna died. What else was there to do when you were too sick to leave a hospital bed, too tired to get dressed or too awake to sleep? Most of these answers I'm realising are the ways I managed to just tune out the reality of my life for a little while. It's a survival mechanism.
Nothing that really moved me or profound in my journey through loss. Just a non-reality.

Sons of Anarchy
Big Love
True Blood

Day 4 - your favorite book. has it changed since your loss?
I don't think I've ever had a "favourite" book as such. There are too many. I read a lot. I read all kinds of books. After my loss I read the Twilight books over and over again. I still don't know why I liked them. Perhaps again escape from my own reality into a world of fantasy. They really are terrible books and I am embarrassed to even admit I've read them. Over and over again. ;)
One book that still sticks with me though about loss was "The Alchemy of Loss" I love this book. I relate to it in such a strange complicated way that makes me realise how far wide the web of grief and loss can stretch and connect people.
Layla's Story was another book I read over and over again. Loss related also.
Lots of Spirituality books too.
Buddhism for Mothers.
I also loved reading the Melissa Marr series and the Cassandra Clare series. When I need a break from said reality I read these books. Nothing heavy, just a world of fantasy.


  1. yk since the trauma of Jet's birth I haven't been able to watch horror movies either. Threshold for being able to watch other peoples pain and suffering as well as gore is waaaaay down.

    I also LOVE Ophelia of the Spirits, Like Rain is my most favourite song, though sometimes it chokes me up and makes me feel panicky because of this bit -
    Reaching out
    I'm like a child with open arms
    I want to shout
    I'm standing on the edge of something
    Looking down
    And I've seen this precipice before
    Goodbye fear
    You've held my hand for many years
    But it's time to let go
    Now it's time to watch you float
    Away from here

    Makes me think of the growing that I did to get from Jet's birth to Sunny's birth.

    Love to you, I admire your openness :) xox

  2. *Gasp* That BIT. Yes that bit! It gets me every time.
    Love you loads April. xoxo