For a while now I've had a nagging feeling. Something pushing inside me. A need to unravel.
To fix something or get a better understanding of myself.
I haven't been able to put my finger on exactly what this inner feeling was until now.
Even now I'm not entirely sure what it is. I do know it involves a lot of change in my life.
Changes that hurt, that will ultimately strip me of my layers, reach deep into the core of me.
The work we do for ourselves is always the hardest work. It requires the ego to be pushed aside.
I'm at a point in my life where the tightly bound emotions are unravelling and I'm not in control. There's movement around me and I'm going along with it. I do know what's best for me but I'm choosing otherwise. Choosing to stay in this emotional state. Choosing to lower the boundaries.
Why? It is something I wonder every single day...
Taking on negative energy
Pushing people away
Putting up walls
In order to break these things I need to move through this cycle.
The hard tasks. Myself.
When I'm ready it will come.
This time in my life is massive.
7 year cycles reaching it's end or maybe a peak? I don't know. It's just fucking huge stuff...