In fear of forgetting I seem to hold onto this deep earthbound grief. It has it's ups and downs but letting that go almost seems like I'm letting her go. Forgetting a part of her. I know that's not possible but it's something I'm emotionally struggling with. I'm seeing a pattern here and seem to hold on to negative people only because they're connected to me and to my experience. When in reality it' s unhelpful and causing me more grief that I need. I need to break those ties. Let them go yet not be afraid that I'll lose the love I've got. Still feel her with the passion of a mother that I do now.
I am grasping at any kind of connection to her. As a way to keep living. When the reality is those people aren't always the right people to connect with.
So deep work is needed. I need to sever those cords of attachment. Live this on my own.